Omg im so depressed right now and i dont know how... i am listening to the Beatles like whats wrong with me usually it makes me feel better and all happy ... all i know is i miss my boyfriend so much ... i keep hugging and cuddling the present he gave me for christmas and rereading his card over and over again how sad b/c i just saw him on the 23 and im still miss him i hate being away from him in a way its like im not all there with out him on the phone or right next to me he is usually all i think about because i have never really felt this way before he makes me laugh when i feel like crying he comforts me when im scared and hates to see me cry and he cares enough about my family and i cant believe something that great came in to my life after so many heart breaks. and yet here he is making my life worth living making me feel so much better about who i am i can look at myself in the mirror and think i am worth something i havent been able to do that in 6 years mainly because i have been horrible depressed for that long and now having him here to help me make me feel love again just being there for me and loving me has changed my life im so glad someone like him is here in my life... My life... im so glad ^_^ most likely the reason i miss him so much because without him im only a half a person hes my other half my Prince Charming and i just cant stop the feelings that i have for him he is such a big part in my life and i love him with all of my heart over all im depressed and miss my boyfriend with all of my heart and i love him with everything i can possibly love someone with God i miss him !!!! I cant wait to see him again !!! <3 <3 <3

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And to top it off Today is the 7th month that Gene Has been dead. Someone i loved and felt like he was my 2nd dad and he died of Cancer on May 25 2009 and anytime i talk about him i cry he was just a huge part of my life and i loved him and i didnt even know he had cancer my family didnt tell me he had cancer b/c i lost someone else to cancer a few months before but this just ripped my heart apart coming home after a decent day of school and find out at 7 PM at night when he died at 3 AM and getting completely blind sided and it just angered me that they didnt tell me someone i loved was dying and i never got to tell him how much i loved him and how much i was going to miss him and worse of all i was to scared to say something during his memorial service and i regret that everyday i only have one picture of him and its on the wall behind my head on my bed so when i sleep he is watching over me and as creepy as it sounds when i get really upset and its to late to call my boyfriend i talk to it and tell the photo everything i wish i could of said to him when he was alive or things that are upsetting me or things that are going good in my life but i still end up crying because he most likely cant hear it and i just wish i could of said something and let him know he was important to me but what can i do he isnt around anymore and i cant really cry around my family because they think i should get over it by now but its so hard i loved him i just cant i dont think i ever will be ok or understand what happened but as long as my loved ones (mainly my boyfriend) are there then i know i will be better b/c of there love but i will still be hurt and cry because i will never see his smile again or feel the warmth in his hugs and i just sorry im tearing up i just miss him so much i will always love you Gene and i will miss you and i hope when i die i will see you in heaven and get to see your smile and feel the warmth in your hugs once again i miss you <3

With lots and lots of love
Chefgirl16
xoxoxoxo